Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Baby Update

I went to the doctor for my first official visit this morning. Even though this is my 4th pregnancy and I have been through all of this before, I was a nervous wreck. The doctor, who is a good friend of mine, was running late, so I got to sit in the room with my nervousness and let it turn into a complete panic. It made no sense! Before I went in the room, everything was fine- my weight was good, my blood pressure was good. I had no reason to think something was wrong, but I couldn't shake the feeling. I sat there, half naked, and just prayed. I would turn it over to God and take it right back, and do it all over again. When Dr. Hilton came in I was on the verge of tears! I told her I was about to freak out, so she laid the table back and said, "and here's your little baby". I have heard that sound many other times, but today it was extra special. She didn't have to look for it, she just touch my stomach and it was loud and clear. As I fought back the tears, I felt so foolish. She just held it there and let me listen, just for extra reassurance. I have no explanation for my fear. I need to trust that God is performing a miracle inside me and trust Him, not all these crazy pregnancy sites on the internet or the doubts Satan is putting in my head. Nothing good is coming from reading them or listening to them. They are only making me worry, so I am deleting them. I am also deleting those doubts. My God is bigger than any fear or problem I could even think of, so I am dwelling on Him.